Thursday, September 2, 2010

Let's Talk Dinner...

I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, but this is a warning: There's some raw Mama Drama about to be shared.

Ok, so every evening I make the trudge into the kitchen to figure out what on earth I'm going to feed one hungry toddler and one incredibly picky husband.... oh yeah...almost forgot, and me.

I know I should just make a menu every week and stick to it, but that idea just hasn't worked in the past. Allow me to say, that I put myself in this situation because I am blessed with a wonderful husband who works very hard to allow me to stay home with our daughter, but I have some room to rant a little!

My first issue: my husband has Crohn's Disease and he is lactose intolerant. His response to food is pretty much the same no matter what I cook, but I do my best to give him items which won't mess with him too bad. So the most obvious choice would be an array of vegetables, soy products, and a limited dairy intake. That would be ideal except for a few minor issues: My husband hates vegetables (I mean pretty much all of them), he is obsessed with cheese, and refuses to eat anything that even has a speck of green in it. Did I mention that his seasoning of choice is Ranch Dressing and he puts it on nearly everything? So there goes my attempt at cooking something to suit his needs because I simply refuse to eat ranch smothered chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese every night.

Now onto my nearly 2 year old. She actually loves vegetables, which is great because I do too, and she's adventurous in her food choices. (I mean REALLY adventurous. I'm talking bugs in the backyard adventurous.) Her issue is that she cannot stand the idea that I actually have to cook the food before she can eat it. Either this is a really early indicator that she is going to eat a raw food diet, or she unfortunately inherited her mother's patience or lack thereof for that matter.

On top of it all is our 70 lb. Boxer who honestly believes that I go grocery shopping JUST for him. No matter what I'm cooking, he sincerely with all his doggy heart thinks its his. So, I'm high-stepping over a pacing dog, and twirling to avoid plowing over our daughter.

By the time I actually find something to cook that suits my husband and is quick enough to meet my daughter's needs, I'm fed up... but the duty is far from finished. I fix my husband's plate (what a good wifey I am), fix my daughter's plate, and bring them to the table. Only once the plates hit the table does the game of musical chairs begin. One needs this, one needs that, one dropped their drink (not the baby...) etc. Remember the dog, well he happens to be my daughter's best friend, and she happens to be the instigator for his strong beliefs that I cook for him. He usually gets half of her food... don't get me wrong, he has manners. She gives it to him. Ugh.

By the time I sit down to eat my food, my daughter is finished and wants down. This should be a victory, but no. It simply means that she wants to see what is on my plate, and of course try it.... even though I could have sworn she had the same thing. So now I have fingerprints in my mashed potatoes and backwash in my sweet tea.

Oh the joys of motherhood... funny thing is.... I wouldn't trade it for anything. Now my husband on the other hand... make an offer. (Just kidding) And as for the dog, well....

We just like to think he can't help it.


  1. Erinn - you are too funny! I love reading your stuff! :)

  2. lol! I can definitely relate to this! Great picture in my head!

  3. Oh! I can TOTALLY relate to this! What kills me the most is when I ask my husband what he wants for dinner..."I dunno." Seriously, is that hard to give me some dinner ideas? All he EVER wants to eat is PB&J, Mac'N'Cheese, and Cheetos...what are we, five? Grr... :)


  4. Hahaha! I definitely know where you are coming from Lenore!

    The conversation usually goes,

    Me: "Hey babe... what do you want for dinner?"
    Him: "I don't know. What are my choices?"
    Me: "The choices are the same as yesterday minus what we had last night."

    .... Pause.... Crickets chirping.....2 minutes later.....

    Him: Oh. It doesn't matter.

    Me: "WHAT!?!? It does matter because if I cooked what I wanted, then you would starve!"


  5. I am sure you don't think it is funny but it was fun to read. We all have been through that routine before!

  6. Thanks Tina! After a while it does become quite amusing. The frustration turns to delusion!

  7. Loved it! And the pics were priceless.
    New follower from Traveling Through Thurs.


  8. You hit it right on the nose...I have four children and go through nearly the same exact thing...I hardly even get to eat the time I am done with the I want's or need everytime I sit back food is cold..and I am no longer wanting to eat...LOL..that is why my Mother always picked while the time dinner was done..she was full..LOL..Great Blog..I'm following...